Food: Pistachio Addiction

She: Am back on the pistachios again ...
He: Stop!
She: Geez, I know.
She: I thought I'd kicked it this time round.
He: Relapses are the worst.
She: Now I've got this bag of, like, 5000 shells.
He: It's a disease, baby ... nothing to be ashamed of.
She: And I just *know* there's one more whole one left somewhere in there.
He: You've taken the first step ... admitting you have a problem.
She: I've been here before.
She: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
She: Pistachios.
He: Bought a bad bag on Monday.
She: Oh no.
He: Got a bad bag. Nearly one-third of ’em were closed.
He: What's with that?
She: I get mine from the grocer’s at the moment.
She: They are *all* full, open and delicious.
She: Real meaty ones.
She: Loose.
He: Sure, you can bite the closed ones, but it never works right.
She: Then it’s covered in spit.
She: Which ruins the moment.
He: You buy salted?
She: I swing both ways.
She: But prefer salted.
He: Yeah, me too.
He: In school, I went in big for sunflower seeds for a while.
He: Those are pretty good too.
She: Hey.
He: Yes?
She: When you get the closed pistachio problem.
She: Do you find it *really* hard to give up and throw it away?
He: Yep.
She: I'd rather lose a limb than throw it …
She: or a tooth.
He: I put them all aside with the intention of coming back to them with a full-on attack.
She: Yes!
She: A hammer.
He: Opened a few last night (and almost wrecked my teeth).
He: Then I got really mad and chucked the rest!!!!
She: Well …
She: I have to tell you something shocking.
He: OK, I’m sitting down.
She: I was chatting to a friend about nuts and said pistachios were my favourite …
She: and do you know what he said?
She: “Yeah but the shell things puts me off … I have to unshell a load first and then eat them.”
She: He is *so* missing the point!
She: It's a ritual.
She: Pop one, eat it, pop one, eat it, pop one, eat it.
She: Not pop pop pop pop eat eat eat eat.
He: Yeah ... I agree.
He: You could always buy shelled sunflower seeds, but that just wouldn't be the same as opening them.
She: Precisely.
He: BUT!
She: It's part of the experience.
She: BUT?
He: Pistachios have *just* the right amount of effort.
She: Yep.
He: Any more, and I'm afraid I'd have to agree with your friend.
She: A second of action and you're there
She: I reckon it harks back to the days when we used to forage for food.
She: There is a bit of enjoyment in it.
She: In finding an empty one, or a closed one.
She: Like nature vs man.
He: The food at the other end of the scale is like those little quails or whatever they are.
He: Lots of tiny bones.
She: urgh.
He: Sorry, I can't be bothered.
She: No way.
She: Poor little buggers.
He: Fish with bones. No, thank you.
She: Death trap.
He: But pistachios give you just enough of a challenge.
She: Perfect.
She: They are God's gift to us foragers.
He: How about all those little flaky bits between the seed and the shell that get everywhere?
She: Haha.
She: Just as I read that I was sweeping them off my keyboard!
She: Thing is …
She: I'd forgive pistachios anything.
She: Like anything.
He: I know what you mean.
He: I've just got to be careful not to OD on them. Cause then I don't buy them for a long time.
She: Really?
She: I guess that will happen to me.
He: I used to get them in kind of a big tray thing that had just too many in it.
He: But I had to finish it.
She: Ah yes.
He: Now I've found that smaller bags are better.
She: And of course once you start …
She: I have to be careful how many scoops I go for.
She: It’s fatal if one is hungry.
He: You scoop them yourself?!?
He: A professional!
She: Of course!